Seen

The mental load test

You carry everything.Does anyone see it?

The remembering, the planning, the checking. In three minutes, see how much of your home lives in your head, and what to do about it.

  • 3 minutes
  • Stays on your phone
  • Built on 2024 research

in my head right now

  1. dentist, Thursday 3:15
  2. sign the school form
  3. we're out of milk again
  4. what's for dinner?
  5. call about the leak
  6. his mother's visit
  7. clean shirts for Monday
nobody sees
this list

The part nobody sees

It has a name.
Cognitive labor.

Seeing what's needed, thinking of options, deciding, then checking it actually got done. It never shows up on a chore chart, and it never really stops.

0%

of mental-load tasks were mostly on mothers

0%

for fathers, who were more likely to call it “shared”

Study of 3,000 US parents · Weeks & Ruppanner, Journal of Marriage and Family, 2024

How it works

Three minutes.
One honest number.

  1. Answer 24 quick questionsWho notices, who plans, who does, who follows up.
  2. See your numberHow much of your home's mental load is on you, and where it sits.
  3. Get your way outThe words to say, and what to hand over first.
A woman wrapped in a knitted blanket, resting on a chair with a cup of tea

You've held it for everyone.
Let something hold it for you.

Three minutes. Just you, and the truth about your load.

Seen

The mental load test. Not therapy or medical advice. Your answers never leave your phone.

The Mental Load Test3 minutes · free · private

untangling it…

  • what you notice
  • what you plan
  • what you check and chase
  • your pattern

Your result

0% of your home's mental load is on you

You are

The list in your head

Everything that's
mostly on you.

mostly on me

    of the thinking
    of the doing
    how tired you are

    Where your load sits

    The line in the middle is 50%: truly shared.

    Dear you,

    — Seen

    Your next 30 days

    The Fair Share Reset

    A 30-day plan built from your answers, to move real weight off your mind. Not chores on a chart: the noticing, the planning and the checking, too.

    1. Week 1 · See itYour full list, written out, ready to show him without a fight.
    2. Week 2 · Say itWord-for-word scripts for “just tell me what to do” and the other hard moments.
    3. Week 3 · Hand it overMove whole jobs to him, from noticing to done, so you stop being the reminder.
    4. Week 4 · Keep itRe-take the test every week and watch your number come down.
    Today Goal ~50%

    Not therapy or medical advice. Your answers stay on this phone.